it’s true what they say
you won’t know this love
until you have one of your own
how can i tell you
the nights i couldn’t sleep
my belly round and full
about to burst
each felt like Christmas Eve
days i sat at my desk
an empty studio
and wrote your name
over and over
and over again
i feel i conjured and whispered
you up out of wishes
magic and dust and
electric blue light
you’re made of music, mountains and the
breeze, baby
the first night i held you in the hospital
i didn’t sleep
i held you and watched you, transfixed
i felt your breath against my cheek and
wondered
how i breathed life into something so perfect
how you could go from a whisper
a dream
a name scrawled in my notebook
anticipation and wonder
to flesh and bone
spirit and stardust
one day i will tell you in a song
a poem perhaps
i will write you the love i feel
have felt
since the moment i held you in my belly
since the moment i held you in my arms
since the moment you came to be
you are a part of everything
we have never been separate
you came into this world
out of my womb
and it still feels like Christmas
of all the :
ideals
images
illusions
thoughts
wishes
desires
dreams
ambitions
i have had
for my self
real or imagined
none
has been
or
could compare
with this
gift
of
mother
My darling child, as I watch your sweet face Peaceful and sleeping, each detail I trace. These tender moments, the end of each day, I whisper quiet wishes as you drift far away.
I don’t say be strong darling, for you already are I won’t say be good either, or don’t stray too far. I won't speak to the stars or whisper a prayer, for virtue or grace that is already there.
For I believe in your goodness, I’ve seen it from the start That goodness comes naturally, as your wide-open heart. Generosity, kindness and gentleness too These are natural states, expressed clearly through you.
See, I am not here to teach you, you’re here to teach me, Remind me of who I am, remind me to Just Be. Your vision is clear, and your spirit is free, Like you came here to remind your Mama how to see.
Your raw, unadulterated joy brings out mine Your awareness and attention make mine more refined. You remind me of all those things I am not, And you show me the truths that I somehow forgot.
I won’t wish for one moment, that you see things like me And I won’t waste one wish teaching you how to 'be'. Your superior wisdom, unencumbered mind, Pure expressions and emotions not conditioned like mine.
So, my darling child, as I watch your sweet face Peaceful and sleeping, each detail I trace. These tender moments, the end of each day, I whisper quiet wishes as you drift far away:
You are safe, you are loved, this whole world is your home You take my love with you, wherever you roam. We will never be separate, I whisper in your ear I am always beside you; I am always right here.
Carry this with you, as you start each new day You are already perfect, in every way. You are sunshine & magic, my love through and through And you have everything you’ll ever need inside you.
mama musings 