(no) fear of missing out

don’t you want to?
they ask
don’t you miss going out?

don’t you worry?
they wonder
always being left out?

aren’t you lonely?
they guess
just you two all day long?

aren’t you bored?
they suspect
don’t the days just drag on?

you could try …
they start listing
all the things i could do


with his Grandma?
maybe daycare?
take some time ‘just for you’

their suggestions
simple things ‘would be good’

good for whom?
is my question
are these small simple 'shoulds'

good for him?
or for me?
whose idea of ‘good’?

never thinking
if I wanted
then i easily could

but my answer 
is the weight 
of his head on my chest

my boy sleeping
his soft breathing
and no care for the rest

limitless dreams

there were a thousand different ways this could have gone
a million possible outcomes
countless lives i could have lived
endless chances i recklessly chose from 

there were limitless dreams i could have dreamt
none could predict which would come true
but in every life, i would be your mama
and every direction would lead me to you