don’t you want to? they ask don’t you miss going out? don’t you worry? they wonder always being left out? aren’t you lonely? they guess just you two all day long? aren’t you bored? they suspect don’t the days just drag on? you could try … they start listing all the things i could do : with his Grandma? maybe daycare? take some time ‘just for you’ well-intentioned their suggestions simple things ‘would be good’ good for whom? is my question are these small simple 'shoulds' good for him? or for me? whose idea of ‘good’? never thinking if I wanted then i easily could but my answer is the weight of his head on my chest my boy sleeping his soft breathing and no care for the rest
i smile softly as i realize,
i have been
b e c o m i n g
all my life.
there were a thousand different ways this could have gone a million possible outcomes countless lives i could have lived endless chances i recklessly chose from there were limitless dreams i could have dreamt none could predict which would come true but in every life, i would be your mama and every direction would lead me to you